dumb and dumber

You're soon going to learn that my favorite movies are either the ones that touched me (The Blindside/Sweet November/etc) or the ones that made me laugh so hard I almost wet my pants.

This happens to be one of them.

Why is it still so funny to quote these lines?

Movies like this aren't being made anymore.

Why can't we bring back the 12 year old boy humor?

I, for one, would love it.

some of my favorite lines:

-What's the matter Har'? Some little filly break your heart?

-No it was a girl.

-Yeah, I called her up. She gave me a bunch of crap about me not listening to her, or something. I don't know, I wasn't really paying attention.

-What do you think the chances are of a guy like you and a girl like me ending up together?

-Why you going to the airport? Flying somewhere?

-How'd you guess?

-Well I saw your luggage. Then when I noticed the airline ticket I put two and two together.

-Fraida Feltcher? From Cranston?

-Yeah, you know her?

-YEAH!! Yeah.. I mean.. I remember you.. talkin about her.

-According to the map we've only gone four inches.

-You'd think the Rockies would be a little rockier than this...

-Yeah, that John Denver's full of **** man!!

-Life's a fragile thing Har'. One minute you're chewin on a burger, the next minute you're dead meat.

-There's really nothing to worry about Mary.  Statistically, they say you're more likely to get killed on the way to the airport. You know, like in a head-on crash, or flyin off a cliff.... gettin trapped under a gas truck, that's the worst! I have this cousin, well, I had this cousin..

-Uh, Lloyd, could you keep your eyes on the road please?

-Oh! Sure, good thinkin. Can't be too careful. Lot of bad drivers out there!

-Yesterday was one of the greatest days of my life. Mary and I went skiing, we made a snowman, she touched my leg...

-OKAY! KILL HIM!!

-Husband?! Wait a minute... what was all that one in a million talk?

-You've had this extra pair of gloves this whole time?!!

-Yeah, we're in the rockies!

-Just when I think you couldn't possibly get any dumber. You go and do something like this... and totally redeem yourself!

-So you got fired again, huh?

-Yeah... they always freak out when you leave the scene of an accident, you know?

-Yeah. Well, I lost my job too.

-Maaaan, you are one pathetic loser!! No offense...

-No, none taken.

-You sold my dead bird to a blind kid?! Lloyd... Petey didn't even have a head!!

-Harry, I took care of it!

-Hey, I guess they're right. Senior citizens, although slow and dangerous behind the wheel, can still serve a purpose!  I'll be right back.  Don't you go dyin on me!

-275 thou. That's a car. Might want to hang on to that one!

-How was your day?

-Not bad... fell of the jetway again!

-You'll have to excuse my friend... he's a little slow! The town is back that way!!

Two lucky guys are gonna be driving around with those girls for the next couple of months!

-It's ok! I'm a limo driver!

-Move it or lose it, sister!

-NO WAY!!! That's great!! WE LANDED ON THE MOON!!

....I could keep going, but I think it would be the entire movie.

*by the way, i printed the entire script of the movie when i was in jr. high (don't try this at home kids. I don't know how my dad didn't kill me.. so much wasted paper and ink. It was like 500+ pages). It's totally not worth it. The lines aren't even close. You know Jim Carrey.. it must have all been improv. LOVE him!